Wow.. I am so happy I stumbled upon this forum! I am a female dating a male survivor of sexual abuse from a male family member. My BF told me the first night we met that he was molested. He said he hadn't told anyone before but felt very comfortable with me. He is FABULOUS, amazing, the best BF a girl can have... but there are sexual issues and I don't feel that he is a very deep emotional person. He has carried this burden on his shoulders alone for 26 yrs. He sees his abuser on a regular basis and they act as though nothing ever happened. It tears my heart apart. I feel he needs to see a counselor before we can move on. He has never dealt with this, just buried it deep down and actually has convinced himself its no big deal. He has never told anyone but me and says he doesn't trust anyone but me to talk about it with smirk I am trying to help him, but I am not a licensed therapist and cannot take this burden upon my own shoulders. How can I convince him to see a professional?? How much do I push him to talk? If it were up to him, he would NEVER bring it up, but I am not okay with knowing what I know and not seeing him deal with it.. I cannot move on with him if it is not addressed. The other issue is that the abuser has two small sons of his own now and I worry about them.. I feel my BF has an obligation to those two boys to, if anything at all, confront his abuser, let him know he remembers what he did and that he will do whatever needed to protect those kids.
I am calling TODAY to make a therapy appointment of my own.
Any help or ideas on what to do would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you and good luck to you all in your own ventures.