As I have written in my introduction, I am a 32 years old Spanish guy. I work as I psychologist in a self development center and I am a therapist myself.
I want to share my experience with you, cause I am a survivor too. I have been the only son of a middle upper class couple and I have suffered sexual abuse from my mother when I was around 12. My dad, specially in his last years, have had serious problems with alcohol. That is, my family has been disfunctional, but I have only clearly recognised this recently.
Even if I have always known what happened to me, I have experiencied a well-known word here, dissociation. It wasnt until I have been 26 that I have talked for the first time of all about this with a female therapist, the year I lived in France. In 2011 I began a complete psychotherapy with a male therapist specialized in sexual abuse.
This has been a really intense year for me. I work hard in my daily routine, I have began to exercise seriously... and I have confronted my mother (I think this is the right word, confront). Why all of this changes? Two big events: my dad passed away in january due to alcohol and depression and my girlfriend left me before summer. I also moved from one flat to another. Too many changes that made me do this hard action, to confront my mom, via my therapist.
It was this break up with my girlfriend that gave me the energy to do what I thought it was the right thing, not to hide anything any more. I have told my story to some of my friends, and also I did that to my exgirfriend, B.
Even if I know that I am a resilient person, and I am proud of myself, now I really feel sad. Very sad. I have the disgusting feeling that I have no family at all... and I really miss B. I have no big problem to meet new girls, but for the moment that doesnt fulfill me.
My mother is going to my therapist now, and I dont talk to her. We have decided to tell her that if one day she wants that I approach her again she should follow a therapy herself. Now I wonder whcih my nexts steps should be...
Thank you , thank you for reading my story.