when I felt big shame I realized that is not real shame at all (which we all learn from early age as a feeling and which has its role in development of our behavior) but more compulsive, neurotic, anxious feelings related not only to my experiences but also to some degree to my personality (shy, more reserved, sensible etc…).
In other words it was clear to me that I am overblowing it and have negative emotions that are way, way out of proportions and reality.
So you can built your walls as much as you can – but they are still completely ineffective since you can not hide from yourself no matter what.
Next step for me was to clarify which sex is more attractive to me on arousal erotic level – I looked only for facts without any emotions (I pretend to be doctor to myself lol).
That is how I started to find my long way with many ups and downs that came later and journey is far from over...
So, if you really want to find what is your sexual identity it is not so difficult to clear the mess as a starting point as long as you are ready to accept whichever consequence might follow investigation and start to move.