DH and I have been married for 10 yrs now and we are going through what sounds like typical trust issues, emotional unavailability, and infidelity. I told him we needed counseling and am debating leaving with my two young kids. Last night he told me he had been abused. He doesn't want to me tell anyone- I'm hoping this is ok since I am providing few details. He said he wanted to tell me before it came out in counseling. He said the whole Penn state thing, and the birth of our two kids, really had him revisiting the abuse and made him realize how much it affected him.

I'm trying to wrap my mind around all of this. The abuse makes everything else make sense. my emotions are all over the place.

I don't know where to start. I want to help him, but I don't trust him. And he of course has huge trust issues of his own. Is the first step to find counseling for myself until he feels comfortable going? Thanks for the help!