Alive,

Thanks for tell me I'm not saved. That really helps. It's also not true. God came for the screwed up not the perfect. No offense, but I've heard this shtick before mostly from a bunch of people who could care less about me and just sat in judgement telling me I was wrong at every opportunity. You say it prettier, but you still talk in riddles and judgement. Basically saying I didn't know in whom I have believed. My sperm donor, a nutcase and serial adulterer, told me the judgement thing the whole time I grew up, too. "The reason you are totally unhappy is cause you are a sinner and going to hell!" I heard that for another 17-18 years in churches (mostly full gospel to Baptist) and beat myself up over absolutely nothing.

Here's something I learned, despite nearly everyone trying to tear me down for those 17-18 years in churches (including myself with self-hate), there's more to life than Jesus Christ. OMG! Blashpemy! No, God made us social creatures. We need others. Friends and a mate then kids. No, my hole hasn't been filled. Mostly because I've had no relationships with people (humans not God) pretty much ever and am terribly lonely and I lost my chance at kids (44 and too old to want a kid in high school at 65--lol). I wasn't allowed friends as a kid and told over and over and over how worthless and stupid I was--when I was anything but. I'm grieving over the loss of 40 years of life just existing and living in hell, survival mode due to abuse and being hated and not valued much by my "family" and raped by two sickos.

Alive, if you wish to help people like me (and others like me desperately hurting) talk about yourself and how you did with things not the usual talking points I could recite rote. Comfort people, and don't judge them. That's brotherly love and what God wants you to do. Peace.


Edited by phoenix321 (10/30/12 10:55 AM)
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Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"