All i can say is sorry. Its not your fault never was. You have an amazing story and you are the first case of a man in the military in South Africa to come forth. I were only a cadet on a cadet camp and i withnessed some serious male abuse as well. Being fifteen at the time and being a survivor myself i am just glad it werent happening to me. There were some older guys hitting on younger guys and i managed to stay away from them the entire time. I am sorry this happened to you. I am sorry that it took you so long to feel the comfort to come forth but i for one am so glad you did. Please keep me posted - you have my emial and cell number by now.