I'm going to keep my eye on this thread. You ask all the questions that are racing in my head. And I have drawn the same conclusions that you have as well. "God" doesn't interact in my life on a day to day basis, and it is OBVIOUS that "god" doesn't care that shitty things happen to good people.
I also agree that it seems as if god is reachable only when we're feeling good and connected, but almost impossible to reach when in the dumps. I've taken to practicing gratitude and prayer as a regular commitment to my recovery. I'm still in the dumps, but I sense already that retraining my brain to focus on the positives (being grateful) is the groove to strive for when in the dumps, because when I come out of the dumps, I'll be in a better place than if I had not been practicing gratitude or praying. Kind of reaching out to God even if I can't feel god's presence anywhere.
And when I say "god", I mean whatever the source of creation is, not necessarily the Christian definition of God.
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.
Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM