believe me, phoenix, i have rarely felt this - maybe twice before. for long stretches of my life i, too, felt NOTHING. i remember when i pulled the plug intentionally on emotions. i was 11-12. i felt nothing more until i was maybe 19. had a brief foray of a few years into emotional sensations, then shut down again until i was 35. another period of testing the waters - and now again - i am coming back to life after more than 2 more decades. so - i know you've waited a LONG time, but don't give up yet.
something i heard yesterday made me stop and think: "Don't seek for God's gifts and blessings. Seek for God himself - and the gifts and blessings will come as well."
No emotions since 3.5 years old for me. That's about 40.5 years ago. If I wasn't Bipolar, I seriously doubt I'd be alive.