Hello all. My name is Gary, I am 45 years old, and a survivor of what I call "torture" from age 8 to about 15. I feel as though I have thrown my life away. I am a recovering alcoholic, and have trouble loving, feeling love and trusting anyone. I live with night terror. I have been divorced for 21 years and raised my 2 children without a Mother. I currently have a partner of 17 years who loves me unconditionally, something I feel I am not deserving of. My Therapist directed me to this site. I have found it very very helpful, almost like I am reading things I could have written about myself. Especially the forum about not "fitting in" with other groups of males, and same sex attractions.

Thank you everyone that has contributed to this site. It may just save my life. I have been talking with my Therapist about going to the conference in NYC in November. I'm thinking of attending, but am quite scared.
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Gary