not alone at all man. I have never been able to feel secure around a bunch of guys and smaller groups are even worse. I just feel like I am wearing a mark somehow. and that all the "guy talk" is so superficial.And just like the rest of the guys here I speak in public,even sing but when I am "on" t just seems like another act lots of times. when I'm there I feel safe cause I'm in control just another kind of isolation I guess.
hope that helps
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Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville