Edward, so many have done that, some I know of not coming out until they were in their 50's or 60's. I understand why some choose to remain in the closet, to live the lie as you are doing. Family, friends, fiances, all of plays into those decisions.

No one can force you out, no one can convince you that gay is okay. You would have to do that yourself. It's never too late to learn self acceptance but, you have to want to learn it before anyone can begin to guide you toward that.