Update: Feel like I have run into a stumbling block, maybe two of them and maybe this is why we go to counselors. Several people tell me they look at me and sometimes see "angry dude". My T says I have a right to be angry, and we worked through all of that I thought. Others tell me it's not good to project any anger when you are trying to get a job and back into school. I get frustrated now because I need a job to be able to get back to school to pay for it, and employers tell me I need more school. I was supposed to start school again in August, but lost my scholarship because the eligibility rules changed, so I'm on academic hold till January.
The second thing is worse. I am starting to remember something now about a man I hung out with when I was like 8. I have not thought about him in a long time and all I really remember is that he was always nice to me. He gave me chocolate and rides on a tractor. (He worked on a golf course near our house.) I remember going to his maintenance shop too but I don't remember anything bad ever happening. My T says our minds start to reveal stuff to us as we become ready to understand it. I don't want to go any further with this memory as he was always nice to me as far as I can recall. So I don't know what to do except tell my T about it. It's bad enough remembering what I already do, and really don't want to see any more. How do we know if something really happen? Feeling confused, but I'm not giving up. It's just one more thing on my list of things to learn still about life. I just hate being confused.
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” - Plato