So I'm trying to see all sides here. I spent a long time last night reading about co dependancy and even took a bunch a quizes(not that I'm claiming that means much) and none of them gave me identified me a co dependant. I am going to ask my T about it tomorrow because maybe I have some co dependant behaviors that I'm not reconizing. As far a the drinking I know it is destructive but I self medicated a lot when I began my csa therapy. As I progressed I slowly gave up destructive coping mechanisms for healthy ones. I personally was not strong enough to give everything up at once and just relay on healthy habits. Yes I will agree the H is yet to dig in fully and attack this head on but I am seeing slow behavior changes and a williness to go to therapy that was non existant a couple years ago. I look forward to the day that he does attack his healing 100% and copes without drinking because he won't get better until he does.
Keep calm and carry on!