Pedophiles have a way of sensing our weaknesses and exploiting them for their gratification. Mine used drugs and alcohol as a lure. He had about a dozen 12-13 year old boys flocking to him to be supplied with that stuff regularly. I was the one who stayed with him when everyone else had left because I had to get higher and be the cool one to hang out with Tim alone. I was the one who got abused. Its not fair. Its not my fault. Its just is the way it happened. My T says he probably abused other boys. Pedophiles are never satisfied with just one victim. Yours probably did too.
As Traveler stated, the important take home for you is: ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. I had to hear that about 500 times before I believed it. Its not your fault brother. It just isn't your fault.
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "Joni Mitchell