There is no solution but to keep moving forward, feel the feelings, and trust God for the rest. Even the smallest amount of faith you can muster is enough.
I complained to my T today that I feel like I'm not making any progress. He reminded me that I've only been dealing with this for about 8 weeks. Seems like yours to me. Your years must feel like an eternity to you. We're in the same boat. You don't have to trust us, just row with us till we can see the other side.
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memoriesSarah McLachlan