Thanks you guys.
Just had thoughts moments ago that maybe he was actually dumping me, but he was trying to spare my feelings by saying he was still interested in me even as he is pulling back a bit. Why do I think these things?
I am so filled with doubt and feelings of worthlessness that I have this compulsion to keep thinking the worst, and distrusting what he's chosen to tell me. He says he's interested in continuing dating, but he wants to keep things casual.
I can't believe what the abuse has done to me. The good people in Alanon are encouraging me to act on faith, with love in my heart, and to stay focused on gratitude and being thankful that he's in my life. He doesn't know how wonderful he is, and I want to show him.
I'm working like hell to stay in this place of gratitude, or trying to preoccupy myself with other things. But these compulsive thoughts don't stop.
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.