Mate!

Thanks for sharing - I understand what you mean.

My abuse only came to the surface a couple of months ago and I too had it all tightly wrapped up inside and no one knew my secrets. I often wish I could, like you said, put it all back in the vault. But I think the truth is that CSA is a bit like an acid that eats us from the inside out and the only way to stop it destroying us is to get it out of our hiding places and into the light. I have told my wife and a couple of close friends some stuff and my counsellor nearly everything.

I was about the same age as you were but didn't tell my parents until I was 12 or 13. They didn't take it seriously and did nothing. I have decided not to talk to them about it now. I just can't see them being supportive about it now either. They were broken parents then and still are now. Sometimes I think we just need to accept that we didn't get normal loving parents like other kids - so there is no point expecting them to start acting normal now.

Somedays it feels so fresh and raw that I feel like I will explode but then that passes and I just feel numb again.

Anyway all I wanted to say was thanks for sharing your feelings - it makes me feel less alone in the struggle.

Fellow Aussie
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More than meets the eye!