I hear you, never over healing is a lifelong process. One of my perps died recently, but that doesn't undo what he did, just guarantees he will never to it to anyone else.
I have yet to find a 'normal' that totally gets it, some try but, I think it's beyond them. Some things you just can't explain, there aren't words to explain it to someone that hasn't been there.
As much as T's will tell you it isn't good for two survivors to be a couple, I'm glad my partner is a survivor, we both get it and, that alone helps us both a lot.