Welcome to you both.
May I offer? Abuse is done in secret, recovery is done OUT LOUD! Heh heh, it is a bit of a cliche, but it has merit. What you have done in registering and creating these posts is monumental. You are taking the first steps to unloading these negative harmful feelings that belong to the perpetrator but that survivors feel they need to carry as well. It has been said that sexual abuse is the perfect crime, because the abused becomes a sort of accomplice in a manner of speaking, too ashamed and shocked to reveal the abuse. I kept her(the perpetrator's) secret for 34 years! It is time fellow survivor to blow that whistle and you will see the support running from every corner to give you the protection and healing you need. Post, reply, share.., do everything you can to move to a stable, healthy place, you have waited long enough and now is the time.