So our last therapy session H was in a really negative place. Saying he was tired or trying and that I need to be the one who goes alone to see her because I'm really the one with issues etc. By the end of the session the T got he to admit that he has a wall up and that he feels like I don't really see the person behind the wall. He said he didn't want to turn and tell me that because he felt like I would just give him a fake happy response. I told him that I'm so glad that he wants me to see that person and that I feel sad that he thinks I would give him a fake response. I held his hand and he softened for a min and said he would try to help more. When I asked him what he meant by that he shut back down and said he guessed we would just see if things changed over the next week. Kind of like well see if you really mean that wife. So when it comes to him this week I have been trying to be softer and sweeter. He has softened up some too but his drinking has been worse this week and he swings between being more like his old self and taking little jabs at me. I'm feel that I'm being one cool cat I still call him on his shit but am being less harsh about it and not taking it personally. So I don't understand the jabs and the increase in drinking. Its like he is trying to undermine mine efforts to ease the tension at home. Jesus this is all so stupid I wish he would just admit talk about his abuse in therapy all ready and quit jumping from excuse to excuse as to why life is so hard. Is it common for survivors to treat their wives like emotional pack mules and then act annoyed when their wives are nice and don't take their crap personally anymore? The hot and cold behavior is more annoying than anything else WTF?
Keep calm and carry on!