Whome, I look forward to reading your posts anytime I browse the forum. I am sorry that pain took place between you and your daughter. The progress you make and share with us gives me hope and lights my heart. Thank you for sharing with us.

He too would never hurt a child or an animal and would feel horrible if it ever were to accidently happened. He is so gentle and loveing with children and animals, it endears me. I miss that gentle, soft, sensitive, caring, compassionate man. Then with a flip of a switch, he does things that are cold and hurtful.. Things that make me want to run and hide. Things that make me fear him. Things that make me want to shut my heart off to him. Then he comes back into my life and feels terrible for hurting me, gets very emotional about it, wants to make peace and amends, only to repeat the same actions he knows will harm. He has said he doesn't ever want to hurt me again and so he keeps a distance yet pulls the same behaviour. I do not understand this. It is insanity.

Is this self punishment? I guess that is where I was coming from when posting my question. By subconsciously hurting me, it causes him to hate himself even more, confirming any negative self views even though he now says he really likes himself and isn't a bad guy.