I think our goal is to hurt ourselves and anyone ancillary will be impacted but that is not our objective. We tend to look at ourselves as damaged good, deserving of nothing good in our lives.
He had self hatered for a very long time and very strongly the past few years.
Most recently, he has come to a point (or so he says) where he wants to protect the little boy within. He repeatedly would mention how he isn't a bad guy and is starting to really like himself. He said he had hope and saw himself at peace in the future. I asked him if he was pulling all of this because of feeling like he didn't deserve anything good, didn't deserve love and his response was no.