Love,

I am so sorry that you feel this way, and I want you to know that you have every right to be upset, and angry, and sad. Its natural.

Someone you love, outside of his history, abuse, etc, has been hurting you. One thing that I have learned by being here, is that even though he is hurting from his CSA, it doesn't mean he has the right to hurt you.

I know exactly how you feel. Its not an easy situation to deal with at all. If your partner has not started getting help, perhaps you should go and get some help of your own. A support group, a counselor, a preacher, someone who is going to hear you out and give you just support. Your feelings are not wrong, nor should they be discredited or discounted.

I am on the same roller coaster ride, and it sucks. You heal by grieving the loss of your relationship, letting go of what you can't control, and realizing that choices are simply that. Choices.

I don't know if survivors have a need to hurt, as in intentionally, or if its one of those things of hurting those they love, then saying BUT... THIS happened to me. Maybe they feel the need to hurt and push someone away, before that someone can hurt them. I wish I knew. It would make this process alot easier that is for certain.

Best of luck and keep posting. Don't let this consume you. You have to be strong for you.