You truly have a wonderful wife. I bet she also encouraged the children to understand what happened to you and reminded them you were still there father no matter what had happened. I am glad to see she is willing to work on herself, you and the marriage. As was said continue to be honest with her and yourself. Like you I am learning I can be loved for me and not for the acts of the abuse--because those acts are not love--only took me all these years to realize the bastard did not love me nor what he did to me was love. I am beginning to believe I deserve to be loved--and I see you have a wonderful woman at your side to help you realize and accept this love.
Congratulations and keep moving ahead.