Everything you listed in your post sounds like perfectly normal reactions to having been traumatized by abuse.

I have only the tiniest fragments of images regarding the sexual abuse I suffered at the hands of my father when I was very small. I was abused by a priest in my high school and college years; putting together the pieces of what he did to me wasn't so much a matter of recovering repressed memories but lifting the veil of denial about what his actions meant.

In either case I've struggled with not being able to piece together what feels and sounds to me like a coherent narrative of what happened to me. It all feels fragmented and left room for lots of doubt about whether it really happened or whether I made too big a deal about the abuse. One of the biggest gifts of attending a Weekend of Recovery was hearing the accounts of other survivors who were clear about what they remember of their experience as well as what they are unable to recall. It was healing to figure out that 1) I know enough to know I was sexually abused and deeply traumatized by these two men (and several others), 2) my gaps in memory or inability to put together an exact timeline of what happened and how the abuse escalated is perfectly normal for me as a survivor, and 3) I am not alone in any of this, nor am I alone in my journey of recovery.

Welcome to a world where 1) your experience is, sadly, all too normal for us, 2) your courage in working on your recovery is recognized and applauded, and 3) you are surrounded by and connected to many kind, generous, courageous men who are healing and thriving.