male survivor here -
for me - my wife had to say - "This is not working. You need to get professional help. Or there will be consequences."
i was so deep in denial that i didn't even recognize how screwed up i was. it was a relief to me to have a push in the right direction. once it was "out there" i knew i had to do something to save our marriage and regain my life.
i can't say that course of action will work for everyone - but it was the beginning of big steps in recovery for me and mending a broken relationship for us.
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago