male survivor here -
for me - my wife had to say - "This is not working. You need to get professional help. Or there will be consequences."
i was so deep in denial that i didn't even recognize how screwed up i was. it was a relief to me to have a push in the right direction. once it was "out there" i knew i had to do something to save our marriage and regain my life.
i can't say that course of action will work for everyone - but it was the beginning of big steps in recovery for me and mending a broken relationship for us.
They have greatly oppressed me from my youth, but they have not gained the victory over me.
Plowmen have plowed my back and made their furrows long.
But the Lord is righteous; he has cut me free from the cords of the wicked.