You sound just like my husband
and it's as if I am two people. I know how hard he has worked and how far he has come. That part of me is proud of him. Tears come to my eyes. I have watched him become such a wonderful man in so many ways. I am not sure that I would be strong enough to overcome what he have has overcome. That is why I have been silent.
And well the other side of me posted here. Taking one day at a time is the only way I know how to live anymore and I love HD's quote about anger, it's only hurting me, I am trying to let it go. I have said that to myself many times today.
I have no control over what he does and if he decides to go hire a prostitute tomorrow I can't stop that. There are no indications that is going to happen but of course for me it's always a possibility. Which makes me feel unsafe and sad.