ok, i've tried twice already to answer, the last time i was putting my last period in place and the stupid PC rebooted.....
so - one more time...

Life - you are too young to be thinking about "meeting the same fortune" as me. Breathe. Slow down. I understand the feeling, but you (hopefully) still have some health to get you outside for walks, maybe bike rides? anything to stimulate other areas of your brain while working your muscles.
And BREATHE

Gary - "epic meltdown" ... i like that phrase .. it belongs in a poem ... or song .. or something ... mind if I run off with it? No? Kewl - thanks for sharing it! smile
Seriously tho - you're right - the fact I'm still in here trying to dig out means ... something. My brain appreciates it I guess - but my heart ... it's just not in it anymore.

Moose (Pete) - my good friend. We have walked a few miles through these forums side by side - passed each other sometimes or been on parallel routes. Your consistent, steadfast friendship is a mighty help and reminder that I can always go at least another day. Thank you for being who you are!

Sam - backwards is the new forwards? I missed that announcement wink
Seriously - the analogy was on spot and well timed. As always, you come through with some truth that deserves being examined.
Thanks!!

Pero - thank you. My mind understands what you are saying, but my heart thinks that if this is my best i'm in serious trouble. And right now, I'm being led a lot by the heart. Tho I do appreciate your sharing!!

Scott - I know I've responded once - but you reminded me of something big. I did say no more after Kirkridge, then 4 years later - I was back. But I still didn't make it thru the last exercises frown I do have intentions of going again in two years and making it through ALL the weekend. And that is a goal - something to hold onto. Thank you for helping me think about what I [i]have[i] gained from the WoRs.
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the story
    https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013