Hey Rachel,

You have every right to expect your marriage to be everything you want/need it to be. Your husband is in a marriage, for goodness sake. That means that he has to be a MAN, not a child.

None of us has cornered the market on pain. It's not a competition, and we don't get anything if we "win." You have the RIGHT to your feelings. Period. They're real. And your needs are real. That's a reality that, as survivors, I'm convinced that we HAVE TO EMBRACE. My job, in my marriage, is to make sure the experience is a positive one for my wife. If our marriage doesn't work, it won't be because of fate or anything. It'll be because it didn't do for us what we need it to do.

So... yeah. HD is absolutely right.

And for God's sake! Get therapy! What are you waiting for? If it's money, I'm so sorry. But believe me, it's worth it. I'm paying off my therapy bills and will for a long time, A LONG TIME! But I can promise you that it's money well spent.

Good luck.

Bob