About a month ago I said exactly the same thing: "Let me off this F-ing train". But my other alternatives were worse so I stayed on board, and guess what...things started to get better. Stay the course and it will get better for you brother.
"When I was a child
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown, the dream is gone
And I have become comfortably numb."Pink Floyd