No. Will you please ask your husband to read this? You care about him. You want him to be a reliable partner. You want him to be a reliable dad. It sounds like he wants to be both a dad and a partner. It sounds like he probably wanted that before, too.... Except he wasn't. So it's clear that just because he wants something, it isn't so. (That in itself is ONE EXCELLENT REASON to go to therapy. That's why I went to therapy. I was doing things that I didn't want to do, and I couldn't understand why.)

My point is that you're being straightforward. You've told him to get therapy, and then you'll talk about another child. That's fair. It's reasonable.

When a person is manipulative, they're not being straightforward. They're manipulating. Not influencing. Not laying out boundaries. Not describing behavior that's acceptable and other behavior that's not.

Bob