Northern,
I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of this. I can relate as my relationship with my partner came to an abrupt end almost 2 months ago. His behavior sounds like it was similar to your husband's. He also failed to recognize the significant impact that the CSA had on his relationships. I hope that you have sought the services of a therapist. I started seeing one in late May to help cope with the issues that had been coming up in our relationship. I continue to see her now to help deal with the breakup.
My most helpful piece of advice is to take the time and energy you used to focus on your relationship with you husband and use it for yourself. Rediscover the things you love and nurture yourself. Be well.