One thing that has helped me detach from the roller coaster and enjoy time with my wife has been humor. I used to take things so seriously, because it seemed that MY LIFE was on the line. Well, yesterday, for instance, my wife asked me to give her a ride to the train before work, because she was late for the bus. I was on my way to work, too, but I'm hard-wired to be a resentful ass so I said, sure. Then I sat in the car, irritated, while she slowly and grumblingly got her stuff together and came out to the car. Well, that scenario could have turned into a fight last night, but when she kind of needled me about it at the dinner table, I joked that I was pulling my favorite trick, which was to gain the upper hand by sitting in an idling car. So it became a joke. I mean, geez. It was childish of me to do that. She was also slow. But on the other hand, I was giving her a ride to the train which helped her get to work on time.
That's all possible, thanks to therapy. Thanks to both of us growing up a bit, especially me, and thanks to the fact that I no longer feel that everything in the world is on the line all the time with my wife. Not everything is about my self-worth. You know?
It's good not to be carrying such a heavy freaking load.