Hello Tina,
My H had massive breakdown for three years in his early forties. Got messed up with drugs, gangs, and prostitutes (and this from a hardworking catholic family man with a successful business). From his perspective it was all about releasing tension that had been building for years.

I've done my best to help create a relationship with little tension, but I don't know how successful we've been. Seems it's still there just comes from different places.

I heartily recommend a book called Navigating the Middle Passage by James Hollis. It's about mid-life crises and includes insights on men and women. The writer is a very respected and well known jungian psychologist. Very short too:) I found that it had information pertinent to all people, regardless of their history with sex abuse. sex abuse becomes another layer of stressors. I got from a guy in his forties who said it may help me understand my H, sure enough! I have since loaned it to my dad, my mom, and my ex:)