I understand all you are going trauht,sory for my spelling i am french speaking. Just to reassure you, it wiil get better honest. It take time, but it does get better. You are in a tremendus struglle on how to get back the power your friend as taken over you.
As for the questions if you are a abuser, recherch says only 3% of being abuse are abuser. and this 3 % is a world wide study. I know this as a fact because here in quebec (canada) we are the only university in the world that you can major in a bachaloria in sexologie. I had grate help whit therapist of all sort here.
But you have to understand that it is not the therapist that is important it is the confidence you have in him, read around here how to chose a therapist.
Take care ok TJP