Thank you, it is so hard for me right now. I hope it gets easier as the time passes, but for now....I cannot stop thinking about it at all. Another thing that has bothered me is when doing research on this, I found that a lot of people have this false idea that if you are sexually abused that you will in turn be an abuser. I could not imagine doing this to someone else. The first question my wife asked me after I told her was...Did you ever abuse anyone else? That has made me not want to tell anyone else about it. About 8 years ago, my cousin had child protective services almost take away her daughter. My mom ask me if I did anything to her, and that hurt bad. She believed me when I said no, but just the fact that she asked killed me. She did not know, and still does not, about what I went through. Now I fear that if I tell her, she will think that I did do something to her. The thought makes me sick and I spent so long thinking that everyone thought that I did something to my own cousin. I dont know, I just feel like I did back when it was happening. That if I tell, I will be in trouble. If I tell, I will get it worse then what I already had it.