Good evening gentlemen (or good morning depending on what time of day you're reading this).

I'm a survivor of various kinds of abuse by various people over the years, from before I can even remember as a child until way unto adulthood). I have been working to try to heal for a few years but there's a lot to work through and just over the last few days I've experienced a very difficult time during which several very painful but very impartant new realizations have come to light.

Right now it hurts like hell but I also feel a strange kind of sence of peace because I think some major blocks to my healing have been broken through.

As a result of the abused I am dissociative so please excuse me if things I write are sometimes a little disjointed or inconsistant.


Recently I joined another survivor site. It seemed to be almost entirely women but when I voiced my concern over that I was assured that I was every bit as welcom. After I had started opening up to them and posting though I discovered that wouldn't be allowed to post anything triggering or receive support for any abuse other than purely physical or emotional abuse because the parts of the site for anything other than that were all private passworded areas for women only.

It felt so invalidating and really fed into a lot of feelings and messages that I struggle with anyway because it was like they were saying 'men don't get sexually, spiritually or domestically abused and what they experience is less serious than what women go through and they don't need so much support'.

I mean I totally understand that a lot of female survivors have trouble trusting men and need to have places that are not comunal to talk about some things, but if a place isn't going to offer any support to us then they should declare that outright by being a women only space altogether rather than welcoming us in and then makinv us feel worse!

It also seems like almost ALL the support seems to be focused on making safe places for women away from 'the monsters of the opposite gender' that they forget about us guys who need support altogether...and for that matter forget that some of the perpetrators and predators out there are women!

Sorry...got carried away with the point a bit. It's just a trigger point for me in multiple ways quite apart from the fact that the way that society in general and the survivor community even more so gives the message that women are vulnerable and men are monsters is a big problem that badly needs addressing. The perpetuation of that view isn't healthy or helpful for men OR women!

Anyway, it's that situation that has brought me here to find one of the only supports for male survivors that I could find...and here I am. I do apolagise fpr talking your ear's off and I hope I haven't put you all ofc before you even get to know me (and then you'll find out all the REAL reasons to avoid me wink ).
I look forward to getting to know you all.

Gabe