I was sexuallly abused by a priest in boarding school and by a family member. As I get older I find it harder to "push down" the feeliings of guilt and shame I feel on a daily basis. I also fear that "others" can see my sin and that I am a bad person. At times I wish I could just take it all and shove it so far down that it could never again surface. My night terrors have returned and I have become more fearful of public bathrooms as I get older. Life pretty much sucks and it is hard to explain to family how it feels to be in a constant state of shame and guilt. Of course talking about the abuse is a no no in my family. Especially when it was a Priest that did the abuse. After all a Priest would not harm a good person and maybe I asked for it. After all I wanted to be "special" to a man. The Priest used that word not me. Anyway, I hope this forum and board will help me realize that I am not alone and that I was not to blame.
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To see the true character of a man, watch how he treats someone who can do nothing for him.