He came back, I felt him, his presence overwhelming my every sense.
I hear his screams tearing through my body, quickening my soul.
My very existence an attribute to who he once was.
He stands at every doorway watching my every move;
He waits in the shadows hoping for a moment, a moment to let me know he is still there.
I smile in his direction to let him know I have not forgotten him.
With a glance I plead with him to hold on a little longer.


I see his pain, his tear stained face the bruises left on his body.
Wanting so desperately to reach out and hold him, I resist.
Not now, itís not time, I need to live this life.
He doesnít understand, this time he intends to stay.
I try to put him back into obscurity but he wants to be heard.
I hear him whisper to me, revealing to me secrets we promised never to tell.
My stomach turns.
Why, why does he continue to cry?
I want to tell him it will be okay but not even I can assure him of this.
I want to tell him that he is loved, but one must know of love first.
I want to hold him care for him take away his burden but I cannot.

I reach out my hand offering to console him
to try and reassure him that one day I will be there, I will help him.
My heart aches,
I look at him through tear filled eyes and tell him not today,
my shoulders are too weak and your burden is too heavy,
my heart is in pieces and your sorrow too deep,
your hurt strong enough to tear the very fabric of my soul.
One day I will carry you, one day I will lift you up and take away all the pain all the sorrow.
One day I will be able to look you in the eyes and wipe away the tears.
One day I will reconcile unto myself that you are me.
But not today.

Life is but a small space in time, our soul is eternal so hold on
Run find a safe place and I will dream you a life, a childhood, one that you can play be safe and loved.
I will dream life into your frail body one of happiness and joy
It will be magnificent Jay.
But not today, today must be left to me.

-Jess-
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"Those are not your sins" A wise man