i know that boys abused by men dont "become" gay and i also know that survivors dont all abuse. i know that for sure because i have friends here on MS who would actually tell me if they were abusive. but my husband is different. he HAS abused, abused my daughter (his daughter) and another teenager before when he was just 19 or so. he masturbated with abusive fantasy, has a great need of control and wears a mask of manipulation and of fakeness.
now after ALL THIS i am trying still to support him because after my daughter talked about what her father did to her, he of course couldnt abuse anymore. then he escaped because i reported him. then he came back from outside the country - ready to go to jail, which he felt is better than never seeing us at all anymore. that was very confusing after all the pain he had caused.
now he is in therapy and all...and he stopped masturbation adn he also stopped the fantasy. i take him to lie detector tests sometimes so that i am sure he doenst just bullshit me anymore, because i simply have a 5 year old son with him too. and i need my kids safe, that is much more important than supporting him.
now he always claimed that he had only fantasy about girls, never about boys. thats why i needed an insight from a male survivor and thank you for your honest answer!
everything is always okay in the end, if it's not, then it's not the end