thank you a lot for your answer. my husband has already abused but he has female and male perps. he got the shock of his life, was caught as she talked...well since then he is trying to deal with the reality and i am not giving up on him yet. but i have a small boy. thats why the fantasy part is so important. he says himself that fantasy leads to actual abuse. but he also says he only fantasized about girls, never about boys. i doubted it as he had both perps, female and male ones. thats why i asked this question to you guys, as only you guys can know. i thank you so much for your honesty.
everything is always okay in the end, if it's not, then it's not the end