F.A. and others,
I can also relate to this post. I can relate to having a sense of shame that made me stuff the spontaneous and natural child deep down inside of me, thinking that anything that stemmed from the inside of such a child was bad. I can relate to feeling things were not real. I can relate to the feeling that life itself was not real. The sense of detachment from events, people, and the world around me has been so strong that I don't think I have really faced life at all. I know that when things get really ugly I am so detached that it's like I'm viewing things from outside of myself, like they are not actually happening to me.
I see recovery as a lifelong journey rather than a final destination, a journey, though, which can have many successes along the way.
WoR Alumnus - Hope Springs, OH, October 2009
My avatar is the farmhouse at the Hope Spring, OH WoR. It's a nice place.