Thank you all for your replies and insight. This is such new territory for me and I am glad we are finally to this point. I dont not want to overstep and throw him into nightmares about it.
Traveler- yeah I could definitely see how certain stuff can be a trigger, which is why im having this dilemma. I have always been pretty open to doing stuff, I just dont want to have it where he is just doing it to reenact the abuse.
I was hoping once we got over the last hurdle, we wouldn't have to jump more but I guess that's wrong.