i appreciated it as a poem - great vivid writing.
sorry to be so blunt - i wasn't offended exactly - maybe taken off-guard is more like it.
i admire your way with words.
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"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself... And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." - Paulo Coelho