I want to add this link to another guy's (EdfromNY) body memories and pain.http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...6884#Post366884
I think that his post reminds me that after abuse I had all kinds of muscle mis-alignments. I had a head tilt and I didn't know it until a few years ago. Now that I think about it, I remember that every time someone would ask me to mount a picture or poster on the bulletin board, I would mount it crookedly. That's because my head was chronically tilted. I'm sure it was from the abuse I had at 12. http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8646#Post408646
I was also chronically stiff all over, or tense if you will. I had some guys ask me to go bowling with them when I was about 20. I did a terrible job of bowling because I was tense all over.
Below is a picture of me 2 weeks after the camp where I was tortured. I was still struggling with muscle tension and misalignment. Notice I had the head tilt then. The two sides of my face are different because I had acquired a more severe dissociative disorder. I was a very unhappy kid.
All of this is described in the book I recommend in the previous post. Lots of muscle memory problems.