Originally Posted By: Life's A Dream
Mine cause arousal sometimes that I can't control, especially (go figure) the stomach contractions, but of course the feelings of having something up in my prostate shocking my genitals, duh. So, I'm not making this up, or crazy?


LAD

You were apparently tortured with a cattle prod, among other things.

For me the body memories were stomach contractions. The Abs muscles. Nothing complicated. Just during mb the muscles would contract rhythmically. Yes, for me it was unpleasant. It was like a dinosaur from another season in my life and it was acting out of control and without helping in any way. So yes, in that sense it was a memory. But the muscles were what remembered in that case. We usually think of memory as being something we do with our mind. In addition to the abs contracting, there was a heightened response of being excited.

Yes those feelings seem beyond control. The person who did it to me used a variety of things. He used a coke bottle. That was a type of bottle not used anymore. Such bottles were made of green glass and had a tapered neck. They only held 6 ounces, not very much in these "supersize" days. But it was big enough in terms of being forced up the rectum. He stuffed a sock in my mouth and forced it.... That happened the first night. At another time he used his hand. He obtained tongs from the kitchen (such as might be used to remove eggs from boiling water) which he forced up my rectum. Most torture was during mb. He was experimenting. I remember the box he brought from the kitchen with that stuff in it. Pins were in it - I mean the common type of pin used when you buy a new shirt. The box was like the bottom of a new shirt box. I don't remember the pain from the pins. I know one other person who frequents MS also had pins used on him. When pins are stuck in, they have the potential of introducing infection. He found that he could force objects "up" the rectum during sexual stimulation and it heightened the sexual arousal experience without as much experience of pain.

I think that this kind of arousal actually "trains" muscles in the person to contract spasmodically. Then later during mb the response will happen automatically. So I experienced a profound "high" during stimulation. It gradually subsided on it's own. EMDR helped. It would be like the athelete trains his muscles to kick a ball or do other stuff. But here the tummy muscles get trained by sexual activity.

It helped me to get a book or two on it. That helped me not be so afraid of what was happening. Fear was definitely a big part of the problem.

The book I got was: The Body Bears the Burden: Trauma, Dissociation and Disease, by Richard Scaer.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Body-Bears-Burden-Dissociation/dp/0789033356/

Dr. Scaer (pronounced scare) is a psychiatrist in Boulder, CO. This book also addresses the problems the body experiences after a whip-lash injury in a car. I can't find that book right now. When I find it, I'll report more on what it says. When the body undergoes trauma, it learns those terrible and strong responses which it later reinacts or replays with great force.

Puffer





Edited by pufferfish (09/08/12 06:04 PM)