Thank you both for responding.

Obi - what you say resonates with me. I believe in part that my husband felt that with the right woman, a strong woman, it would all disappear. It's also true for him as well, as you say, that until he slays his demons hes no good to any partner. I see others here who remain in their marriages while working through their issues and I wish that could be us. But alas, all roads are different. The question of why he told me of his CSA a year after leaving rings strong in the context of this. It's difficult for me to reconcile these things.

Esposa - I understand where you're coming from with regards to codependency, but truly my self worth doesn't hinge on my marriage or my husband. I think for me knowing that relationships are an escape or a coping mechanism for him will help me to move on more easily. This is the only way our split makes sense, if that makes sense. There really and truly was no forewarning. We had a really good life and I accepted him unconditionally, warts and all so to speak.