I celebrate your desire to come out from the mask, to reach out to affirming support and heal fellow survivor.

Depending on your comfort, a female therapist can be very effective.

#6 SIA has a website, http://www.siawso.org/Default.aspx?pageId=7166 There are online groups, some women meetings only, but a few in California, and the one I found in LA was a womens only, but there maybe something close to you that would fit.

I would also try Meetup just be careful, research what you find and take a friend with you to make sure it is safe.

Fake is a word survivors use to describe the "fighter", the "socialite", the "lover" that we use to protect the hurting inside. Fake means not genuine, a forgery, a sham. When you are presenting this protection, it is genuinely you, it is what you feel at the moment, is it not? Then what is fake? Could it be the feelings of terror, submission, inferiority? These are very real, but not at the same intelligence or maturity you are feeling now. Yes dear survivor, we are a compilation of feelings both hurt, terrorized, contentious and desiring to connect. We are a puzzle dropped, pieces everywhere in a confined area, but we can be put together. Some parts of the puzzle are sunny, some parts underwater, some of flight, some sitting, but they are all us.

And assembled, we are beautiful. Find those in your life that see that beauty, and be loyal to them.

Sam
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MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014