Thanks for the reply. It's good to be heard.

1) Find a male sexual abuse therapist -- I found one but it's a female. I'm assuming it's better for a male
2) Purchase/rent/borrow "Evicting the Perpetrator" by Ken Singer -- Purchased tonights.
3) Keep posting in MaleSurvivor whatever comes into your heart. --- See below.
4) As thoughts come up search through this site's forums for similar topics and read the author's thoughts and the replies. I will
5) Consider attending a Weekend of Recovery. I will look into this
6) Attend a support group in your area like SIA(Survivors of Incest Anonymous. --- Can't find meeting listings in LA area? Is there a meeting list
7) Find support. Posting and replying in MaleSurvivor will help you find those who maybe farther along in their recovery and can offer support. - I will
8) There are many good articles in the main page of MaleSurvivor on the difficulties survivors face, check them out.
9) Our chat room can offer real time support and empathy for a survivor in need of encouragement.

I'm battling emotions with the thought that I'm a fake person and I can go back into my protective shell. After which I shut down on those around me or become fake.