Bill 12 -
i'm no expert and can't diagnose - but what you describe are not inconsistent with abuse survivors. it could be caused by abuse or some sort - but not enough evidence to prove it was sexual abuse. could be emotional or physical...
have you seen a therapist? that might be a good idea - someone who is more knowlegable and can explore things with you in more depth.
and BTW - WELCOME to our safe place. hope you'll stick around and join in more if you feel so inclined. there are others here who have some of the same questions and uncertainty as you.
They have greatly oppressed me from my youth, but they have not gained the victory over me.
Plowmen have plowed my back and made their furrows long.
But the Lord is righteous; he has cut me free from the cords of the wicked.